Old & New
Writing in this format doesn’t come naturally to me.
Over time, I’ve constructed this idea in my head that publishing anything - be it a tweet, a podcast, or something similar - is nothing more than offering something unsolicited to an audience that doesn’t care. I suspect I cling to this line of thinking because it’s how I tend to approach things as a consumer myself - when browsing the internet, my cynicism causes me to be critical first, and genuinely interested last. As a result, I find it easier to project my own pessimistic ideology onto literally everyone else in the world than alter my perpetual negativity. I find myself thinking, “I wouldn’t care to read what I’m writing, so why would anyone else?” I get so caught up in the unjustness of presuming that someone might be interested in what I have to say that I end up rejecting the possibility outright.
Tweets of mine are written, rewritten, rewritten, and then never posted. Blog posts are bulldozed long before I finish a first draft. Only through a strong partnership with my brother have I been able to launch a podcast and actually feel good about it.
And yet, despite all of that, here is a new (sort of?) blog, written by me. It’s still an early hypothesis, but I’m beginning to think that my “no one is interested” approach, although safe and inoffensive in its assumptions, doesn’t serve a positive purpose. On the contrary, it actively prevents me from creating things that I find meaningful, whether or not I intend to share them publicly. Who does that benefit?
Rather than succumb to overwhelming self-pity masquerading as principle, why not try putting something out there? If no one cares, no one cares. At worst, my expectations are met. At best, my expectations are irrelevant.
I’ve dusted off some of my aging posts and brought them along for the ride. Why not? If I hope to make something new, I’d best not forget the old.